Dina gets deep

Lindsay Lohan’s convict dad has been speakin’ to the media everyday weighin’ in on his daughter’s sich and now her mama Dina is finally talkin’! We're still figuring it all out. We're all just figuring it out." Thanks for the enlightening statement!

Nicole has strict rules

Nicole Richie invitation to her memorial day bbq said “there will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now!” Wonder what they were bbqing…lettuce?

The happy couple can't decide

John Mayer stormed away leavin’ Jessica Simpson in tears after a long talk on their vaca in Mexico! He must just be just fed up tryin’ to explain things to her…I can see it now, I don’t know why the sky is blue Jess, it just is!!!

Heather is sad

Heather Mills is havin’ serious regrets! She’s wishin’ that she never broke it off with Sir Paul Mcartney and “wants to get back where she once belongs”! It’s pretty lonely with just one leg and no one to love it huh?!?

Nicole Richie’s been snubbin’ her mama in the hospital! She hasn’t gone to visit her cause the two haven’t really been “seein’ eye to eye”! With Nicole withering away again…her mom’s lucky she can see her at all!

Justin Justin Justin

Justin Timberlake’s ex and current girlfriend are freakin’ out they both are presenting at the same awards show! Cameron Diaz and Jessica Beil are doin’ whatever they can to make sure they don’t have a run in! Get ready for some hair pullin and nail scratchin’ action!

Mischa has a bad trip

Mischa Barton was rushed to the hospital cause of a terrible allergic reaction! She had a few cocktails while on meds and got sick! Insiders are sayin’ that’s a cover up and that she actually just ate a few too many magical mushrooms! Apparently she thought she was dying...well, that's what happens when you take hallucinogenics...you bug out!

Asked to do one thing...

Miss USA Rachel Smith ate it at the Miss Universe pageant! She just slipped and ended up on her tush! That sucks when your mainly being judged on walkin’ and lookin’ perty!

She looks like she's doin well

Lindsay Lohan in rehab! By now you know Lilo got a DUI after crashin’ her car and runnin’ from the scene! Police also found blow in her car! But no worries…she was out partying till the wee hours the VERY next night! She should be outta rehab just in time to celebrate her 21at birthday!

Jessica Simpson is deep

Jessica Simpson said she’d been readin’ a book bout Michelangelo and shared some quotes from it on her website! She doesn’t really expect us to believe that she was reading that does she?

Jacko is like a china doll

Some prince plans on payin’ Michael Jackson 10 mill to perform at his birthday party! I’d be afraid to watch him perform at this point…I feel like his face might cave or sumthin!

Hot tamale will be born

Red Hot Chili Peppers front man Anthony Kiedis and his 21 yr. old girlfriend have a bun in the oven! Aww…it’ll be like havin’ his 2nd kid seein as he’s old enough to be his GF’s daddy!

Clooney has expensive lips

A kiss from George Clooney was auctioned off for $350,000! And just a peck…no tounge! What a rip off!

Lindsey is multi talented

Lindsay Lohan is headin’ back into the studio to record a new album she says’ll be urban pop! I mean, the last album was so amazing…why not do another right…pffff?!?!

You're killin me Ryan

Britney Spears and Ryan Phillipe got it on in a Hollywood club bathroom! Whoa…after Reese Witherspoon that’s some serious slummin’!

Anna's sister is normal

Anna Nicole’s sis plans to follow in her footsteps…gettin’ her own pair of jumblies, takin’ it off for playboy, then torturing Howard K. Stern! The road says dead end! Don’t go there girl!

The better Britney

A “vertically challenged” Britney impersonator signed a 6 figure deal to perform in Vegas! And get this! She actually sings!

Tyra betrays her fat frayends

Tyra Banks lost 30 lbs! That’s funny a few months ago she was preaching how fine she was with her full figure how we should smooch her fat tush! Traitor!

Britney just wants to be naked

Britney Spears went skinny dipping with her backup dancers! I’m really startin’ to feel for those lil boys of hers, ya know hen they are old enough to understand what a freak show of a mama they have!

Lindsay throws tantrums

Lindsey Lohan kicked out of her hotel for causing a disturbance! She checked in with some random dude, collapsed on the floor crying, was carried to her room then went psycho when she found some chick in her man Calum Best’s bed! Get a grip Lilo!

Madonna has long lost family

Madonna’s brother shared his opinion of Britney Spears’ latest performance in Miami! He said that his sister "would never go onstage looking like that." Wait a minute…Madonna has a brother?!?!

Katie and Tom torture another child

Oh man…Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes havin another baby… well they plan to! Poor thing forced into a life of aliens and cult membership along with baby Suri!

Angelina is strange

Recently Angelina Jolie said she was in a “strange place in her life”…I mean, if you look at your track record Ang…viles of blood, home wrecking, adopting a small army…your life IS a strange place!

Nicole runs out of excuses

Nicole Richie in rehab! Of course her reps are denying it but we’re hearin’ at 83 lbs. she went in for anorexia and drug abuse! Alright girl…lets stop puttin’ drugs in your mouth and maybe try that thing called food…ever heard of it?

Enrique has a teeny weeny lil peen

Enrique Iglesias recently admitted that if he could change his frayend between his legs he would cause “it's way, way, way too small." Who admits that? And how’d he get Anna Kournikova again?!?

Kate do me Holmes

An aspiring actress who wants to lose her v card in a porn flick has decided her stage name will be Katie Holmes! Oh I’m sure Tom loves this one! Just take some vitamins Tommy boy and I’m sure the girl will disappear.

Jess and John play games

John Mayer and Jessica Simpson may have called it quits but they’ve already been spotted out together again on a date! Jess probably got confused…breakup and date are very easy to mix up!

Paula's on the sauce

Paula Abdul fell and broke her nose after she tried to avoid stepping on her Chihuahua! Somehow I feel like it had less to do with a puppy and a lil more to do with a bottle?!?!

Lindsey might have a drinking problem

Lindsey Lohan was caught swigging from a bottle of vodka the other night while she was out with a couple of her girls! Is she trying to get thrown back in rehab?!?!

Paris prays

Paris Hilton is really taking her prep for jail seriously! She’s even turning to religion…She was spotted carrying a bible the other day. Pretty sure at this point she could become a nun and it still wouldn't be enough to save her!

Britney itney itney itney itney itney

At one of Britney Spears mini tour appearances, the tracks that had all of the songs she lipsynched to started skipping…not once but about 4 times! So it was more like hit her baby 4 more times?!?!

Candy needs a foot in the mouth

Tori Spelling’s stepmom Candy Spelling wrote another letter… this time to Joe Francis! First a letter to Paris Hilton, now to Joe! Posting letters to random celebs on the internet…must be pretty lonely, maybe she should check out one of those internet dating sites while she’s on the web!

Who does Britney think she is?

While Britney Spears was catching a flight down to Miami the other day but when she realized that the seats weren’t leather she demanded that she be allowed off the plane! An aversion to leather huh? Some people have an aversion to fake hair too but you don’t see them complainin’ about your nasty hair extensions do you?!?

Mishca doesn't need a bra

Mishsca Barton’s was spotted leaving a nightclub with her entire tatalina hangin’ out…no, not just a nip slip…the whole boobie! I never understand how this happens! Don’t ya feel a breeze?

Jude Law is better than J. Simps

When Jude Law saw Jessica Simpson at a big film festival recently he was overheard sayin’ “what is SHE doing here”? Now he was either being a pompous jerko or maybe he wasn’t aware of what an amazing actress Jess is…uh hulllooo, didn’t he see Dukes of Hazzard?

Pam Anderson's boobs need love too

Pam Anderson complained that she was booed by a sea of paparazzi after she was late to show up for the photo shoot then only hung around for a bit! Hey, they just wanted the quality time with her jumblies they were promised!

Brad wants to be like Angelina

Brad Pitt has a new tattoo. The ink is on his left forearm and is a drawing of Iceman Otzi who was an ancient mummy found in Alpine Ice a few years ago. And if you see a picture of it…it looks like a caveman drew it.

Howie says goodbye Brit and hello rehab

Poor Britney Spears can’t shake rehab. Her boy toy Howie Day, who she met while trying to get sober is back in rehab. Yeeeeah...I give Brit a month max especially seeing as she was spotted inhaling shots while she was down in Miami recently...nice work guys...you both are a real class act!

Brandon swallowed something bad

The Killers walked off stage in Colorado the other night and cancelled their concert that they had already started. Word is frontman Brandon Flowers has suffered a “severe throat injury” ouch! Wait a second...how does one get an injury in their throat?!?

Jess and John quit each other

Could this be for real??? The rumor mill is spinnin' that John Mayer and Jessica Simpson have split. Supposedly the two have been having issues and they decided to just go their separate ways. Issues...what like Jess's bumbalinas get in the way of John's giant brain? 5 bucks says they'll be back together by the end of the week!

is that who i think? Yeah! it is!

Justin Timberlake flew his new gal pal / lovaaa Jessica Biel all the way to England to hang with him while he’s been on tour! As for the rumors that there is NO romance between these 2…look at the pics online…that doesn’t seem like a “just frayends” move to me! Obviously this pic is courtesy of perez!

K-Fed obeys the rules

When a fan approached K-Fed the other day for a photo op he said he couldn’t…why? He said cause he’d get in trouble then dug himself a lil deeper sayin’ that the hotel they were at wouldn’t let him! Come on dude...just be thankful that people still ask for your picture!

Dina is in denial

Dina Lohan spoke out about the Lindsey cocaine scandal sayin’ that she’s not reading anything about it and won’t let it bother her and her daughter! Of course you won’t cause the truth hurts doesn’t it?!?

Britney makes mama cry

Britney Spears is on such serious outs with her mama that she didn’t even visit her on Mother’s Day in the hospital! She must have way more important things to worry about ya’ll like, goin’ to the dance studio, lip synching and new wigs!

Victoria and David join the clun

David Beckam and Posh Spice have hopped on the reality show bandwagon! They have a full film crew following them documenting their move from England to LA! Does this mean we get to actually hear Posh speak and not just pose?!?! Wonder what it will sound like? i imagine it to be like the teacher from Charlie Brown...wa wa wa wa wa wa!

I can't beleive love wasn't enough

Denise Richards & Richie Sambora have called it quits…dunzo…kaput and 2 months ago! How’d this slip threw the cracks? Guess they’ve been keeping it quiet cause they didn’t want to hear I told ya so! Denise couldn’t steal her best friend Heather Locklear’s man and actually expect the relationship to make it could she?

Criss Angel's new magic show

Cameron Diaz and Criss Angel Mindfreak were spotted getting cozy in Vegas recently! They had a romantic dinner and were snuggly and cutesy and totally feelin each other! Weird…when Criss came up to Sirius to hang with us he was with Minnie Driver but she seems to have vanished…

Avril has big plans

Avril Lavigne told a newspaper that she could never do a Mandy Moore chick flick film…she’d have to do more of a Girl Interrupted type movie! Hey Avril, who said you’d be doing any movie?!?

Joe cries like a lil bitch

Things just got even worse for Girls Gone Wild Creator Joe Francis as he rots away in his jail cell! Apparently a death row inmate has been taunting him until he starts crying daily! Get ready Joe…this is just the beginning!